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The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced by women on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

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#68810 Anon 2014-08-04 03:41
I broke up with my partner because he was demanding sex more often than I felt like having it, to the point that I was not being allowed to sleep because he would pester me until I gave in at 1am, 2am, however long it took. He would push his hand down my pants while I was asleep, he would stick his hand up my shirt while we were watching tv in the evening, it really upset me because he just wouldn't let up even when I expressed my annoyance. He told me he had a right to my body as we were engaged and that if I didn't put out more he would start seeing prostitutes.

Then I read about the woman who's husband emailed her a spreadsheet of all the times she had turned him down for sex, and I read the comments directed at her and they were overwhelmingly in favour of the husband having a right to expect more sex in marriage and that her efforts were unacceptably poor in the bedroom because 'men have needs'. Is that really how it is, that once you sign that piece of paper another person has some ownership of your body? Do people really endorse the idea that men are so base that they just can't help themselves, so their women need to give it up sometimes even when they don't want to, in order to keep them happy?

Right now I'm pretty happy with the idea of being single forever. I own me, nobody else owns me.
#68809 name 2014-08-04 03:17
When I was 15 or so, I went to a gynecologist for the first time. The gynecologist asked, "Are you sexually active?" to which I replied, "no" (because I wasn't). She looked at me for a second, then told me that this was all confidential, and my parents would not learn of anything that was said in the room. Then she tried again, "Are you sexually active?" Of course, I still said, "" She asked me several more times, then when she realized I was being serious, she said something to the effect of, "Oh, that's absolutely wonderful! Your future husband is going to be so happy." That statement made me very uncomfortable. She made so many assumptions, such as 1) that the reason I (a 15 year old girl) was not yet sexually active was because I was waiting until marriage (which was, by the way, not the reason at all), 2) that I wanted to get married, 3) that if I did have a "future husband," he would value me more because I was a virgin, 4) that I was straight, and the list goes on. My mom had seen that gynecologist for years. I was close to my mom and I told her the story. She was mystified and did not take me back to that gynecologist.
#68808 Adriana 2014-08-04 02:44
Sometimes when I go out I do come home late and I don't want to wait half an hour for a bus so I walk half an hour home. Nearly every single time at least one man has either catcalled, whistled or made some idiotic comment towards me...
#68807 Kimberly 2014-08-03 23:59
I have experienced a few cases of outright shameful sexual harassment by complete strangers. I worked at a large chain grocery store, and all but one of my experiences occurred there, two of them while I was on the clock. There was one man whom, shortly after I started working there, randomly started telling me how beautiful I was and hugged me while I was on the clock. This creates an assumption that I have to be nice to him. I fearfully ran in the backroom and sent out a male department manager to deal with this customer. I saw him several more times during my two years there, and once he even followed me around the store while I was grocery shopping after work. I was terrified he was going to try and follow me to my car. A different occurrence happened sometime between those two events, when another man made a nasty comment about me as I walked by him, again actually on the clock at work. I stopped and asked him what he said, and he repeated the comment. I tried to politely ask that he leave me alone as he got closer, and he insisted that I "should take a compliment". I told him outright that I didn't find it complimentary, I found it creepy and insulting. A third incident occurred while I was putting my groceries in my car, and another man again walked by and said something derogatory and insisted that it was a compliment when I tried to confront him. All of these made me feel ashamed, frightened and disgusting. Possibly the worst incident was one of my close friends in high school giving me a ride to school after I missed the bus, and feeling me up insisting that "he knew I wanted it". While I did like him, I did not want him to touch me, especially considering he was dating one of my best friends. These are just the worst incidents, on top of countless "You should smile more" and other comments.
#68806 Billie 2014-08-03 23:37
So I'm only 17, and I have always looked younger then my age, but that has not stopped guys of all ages, and I really mean all ages from continuously staring, beeping, shouting, verbally and very rarely physically assaulting me for the past 5 year of my life. These kinda things are so normal among me and my female friends we will compare how many times it happened just on the journey to the meeting place.

When I go out in to town in the day it is "normal" to be stared at almost continuously.

It is "normal" and to be "expected" to have someone make a comment or even beep at me.

My boyfriend doesn't understand why I sometimes feel discomfort because it happens so much.

But you know what, according to men, all of this was my fault. If I didn't want the attention then I should not of made any effort to make myself look attractive. I should of covered myself up just because men are unable to control them self. Maybe I just should of been born with no breasts or bum.
#68805 Carley 2014-08-03 22:58
1) once I was sunbathing on an almost empty beach. A man decided to sit behind me (which was weird as there was SO much space) but I just ignored my weird feeling and carried on sunbathing. At some point I glanced around and the man was fully naked and masturbating while looking directly at me. He didn't look away or stop or leave or apologise... I left and went home.
2) I was in a pub ordering a drink at last orders, the bar was busy. A man pushed to the front of the bar next to me and casually out his hand down the back of my jeans, into my underwear and started touching me. He didn't look at me, I had never met him before. I was too shocked to do anything. I left the bar and cried!
3) I was walking through a subway and a boy who was about 18/19 walked up from behind me, grabbed me by my throat and pushed me against the wall. He had his penis in his hand. I pushed him off me and ran away.

Why is it always me who has to leave?
#68804 AM 2014-08-03 22:19
This morning a middle aged man whistled at me from his car window as he passed. He also shouted belittling and derogatory comments at me. I am 14 years of age, and I'd prefer to not be treated like an animal.
It makes me SO angry.
Although it's quite a small thing, it really does show the meaning of this project. It is something that so many women/girls have to put up with each day and IT NEEDS TO STOP.
#68803 Lara 2014-08-03 21:26
This isn't something that happened to me, but it is an issue that is concerning me. Why is it that when a woman wears a "revealing" dress on television, it is called "offensive" and "inappropriate", but a man could wear virtually nothing and nobody bats an eyelid?
#68802 Peggy 2014-08-03 21:18
Today while I was in Bilbao, a man walked past me & said hello, then followed me into a shop, tried to talk to me & when I ignored him, he left. I then left the shop & he then followed me all the way to the train station, when I turned to look at him, he was waving & trying to get my attention, I went into the station & sat down. He came all the way up to the concourse, walked around a bit, waved some more & then left....
#68801 Becky 2014-08-03 20:23
A colleague of mine who works in a team of 6: 4 women and 2 men, told me that another male colleague came into her office and said "where is everyone?". The 4 women were all present, but the 2 men weren't in the office at that time.
#68800 M 2014-08-03 19:17
Last year I was at a bar drinking cocktails with my friends. A guy came to me, touched my hips and said: "I like it when girls have a little bit more weight on their hips."
My weight is 58 kg and I'm 1.68 m tall, for me it is totally normal weight and size. It makes me angry that most of the guys today don't respect your private territory, means my whole body! What would they think when I would come to them and grab them with my hands. They would think I'm slutty.
But what annoys me most is, that he had succes with his words. He made me feel bad about my body. That's what makes me feel ashamed.
#68799 FFS 2014-08-03 18:01
"I hate women but I don't think chris should have called them bitches" (you tube comment on graham norton clip)

Wow thanks, my knight in shining armour!
#68798 A 2014-08-03 17:31
I'm 18 and I was at a friends and we were supposed to go to the pub, she was eating dinner and I went to get some cash out.

I was walking down the pavement when I saw two guys, one of which had a pushchair, I kept my head down and pretended to be on my phone, like I normally would when I walk past men.

As I was approaching, one of them said "I'd definitely fuck that wouldn't you?", the man with the pushchair replied "Hmm not sure, looks a bit young", the first man replied "doesn't matter", as I carried on walking one of them shouted "How old are you love?" - I just carried on walking.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for the child in the pushchair, who is going to have to live a life surrounded by misogyny which her or his father welcomes into their environment.
#68797 Anna 2014-08-03 17:28
My friend went to a charity ball and after having some drinks slept with a 30 something year old man, after having sex, he started trying to have anal sex with her. She kept telling him no and he wouldn't stop, he grabbed her so she couldn't move and shoved her face against the floor and continued until he had finished.

She wouldn't report it because she believed it wouldn't be considered rape as she had consented to vaginal sex. She blames herself because she has had sex with quite a few people, and believes that she has just "learnt the hard way".

I just want her to realise that she did not do anything to deserve what that piece of shit did to her.

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