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The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced by women on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

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#76671 Penelope 2015-08-26 22:47
Last week I arrived at university early - about 7am - and none of the buildings were open, so I decided to wander down the road to a café to get a coffee. I had been walking for about 10 minutes when I approached a construction site. Now, I normally feel a bit apprehensive when passing construction sites and often try to avoid them - but today I decided that I would hold my head high and walk on by. I wish I hadn't. I had taken about two steps past the site when a male worker walked past me, looked me up and down, and exclaimed "you're cute," in an incredibly sleazy way. It made my skin crawl. Rather than ignoring him, I stopped dead in my tracks, turned around and shouted at him to get f****d - to which he responded by laughing. Ugh. When I left the café, I decided to take an altogether different route back to university which probably added another 15 minutes to my journey. How is it okay that I can't walk down the street at SEVEN AM without being harassed??
 
 
#76670 Lucy 2015-08-26 22:35
Cycling to and from work, passed two groups of men today: as usual they 'part' rather than step to the side, which makes you feel uncomfortable but apart from that they left me alone. I was pretty nervous on both occasions though, and slowed down/changed gear so I'd be able to react if needed. Many things contribute to this feeling, and everyday male aggression towards women is one of them.
I also nearly ran over a goose so the towpath is rather treacherous as it is...
 
 
#76669 Tarry 2015-08-26 22:09
An ex friend of mine telling me how a friend of his, whom I had kissed before, had told him about how he played me into being attracted to him. My "friend" was clearly in awe at how great this guy was for claiming to have manipulated me. Except he didn't. He couldn't play a fucking triangle if he tried. I am a woman who is well aware of the silly tricks aspiring PUIs play. It was no where near so elaborate. I thought he was hot of my own accord so I kissed him. End of discussion.

My ex friend clearly thinks women are fuck toys to be manipulated, used and abused and discarded. He's also not very bright. Hence why we're no longer friends
 
 
#76668 Meg 2015-08-26 22:00
One early evening when I was 30 weeks pregnant, I was dressed for a meal out with a few girl friends and I was walking through town to meet them. At first I noticed a car slow down beside me, three men where inside the car. They began to Woolf whistle and say all sorts of things about my body that made me feel very uncomfortable. In response I asked them to stop talking to me in that manner. As soon as I said this to them they began to call me all sorts of offensive names such as fat bitch and ugly cow whilst laughing about it. Lucky by this time I had reached the door to the venue I was meeting my friends in and I went inside. This incident made me feel especially vulnerable as I realised that some men where still willing to sexually harass pregnant women and consider it no more than a joke.
 
 
#76667 Holly 2015-08-26 21:21
When I was walking through Manchester the third man to shout something at me in the street finally made me snap. I decided to walk over and find out what he wanted (he seemsed quite startled!) and I asked him why he thought it was okay to shout at me in the street. He claimed he was just being friendly. I doubt that he shouts hello to men. People say that you only get this kind of trouble if you're wearing something revealing, but in every case I have been wearing jeans and a long thick coat so the argument doesn't really stand.
 
 
#76666 Holly 2015-08-26 21:12
I was walking home from the bus stop and passed a group of three men. One left the group and started to follow me- I shouted at him to go away and luckily he did. It's so annoying that I have to get a taxi home when it's dark, it's so expensive. Especially in the winter, when it's dark so early.

Saying that, my friend used to get comments shouted at her from builders in the daytime, when she walked her dog. It upset her so much that she shortened her route just to avoid them. I've had comments from builders too, random men in the street and when cycling. It's so annoying, just leave us alone!!
 
 
#76665 Lillypad 2015-08-26 20:36
I had a boyfriend for five years who used to put me down and criticise me for many things, also blamed me for lots too and always found something wrong in something I'd put effort in to. He continuously told me I would be happier if I was to lose weight, said that he wasn't 'chasing me around the house (for sex)' because I 'didn't have a small waist and big tits' and he wouldn't pick my body out of a line up. When I asked him why he fell in love with me he said it was because he thought that I would make a good mum, that I was clever with a good personality and was pretty. He told me he didn't like me when I got drunk because I became a show-off and didn't like having people round for dinner because it would be a *Lillypad Show. This was a man who wouldn't work full time, because he didn't want to, not because he couldn't, didn't do his fair share of housework but then told me that the house was like a museum (because he wanted to live in a student type house at 40 yrs old) at the same time at telling me the house wasn't as clean as it should be. Oh, and he expected me to go back to work full time if we had kids because I earned more. Thank God I didn't, and I thank my strength and my soul that I managed to end it eventually, when I realised that, actually, I was worth more than I thought.
 
 
#76664 Vic 2015-08-26 20:00
I was out running through my small town at 10am last Saturday and got wolf whistled at by two men in a van. I had my headphones on, but could still hear it, although I pretended not to.
 
 
#76663 Sam 2015-08-26 19:52
Why is it the case that most marriages lead to the bride and groom both taking the groom's surname exclusively? This appears to be discriminatory against women.
Ideally, all marriages should use double-barrelled names and, when two people with double-barrelled names get married, the couple should be able to choose any combination (i.e. if the original surnames of the bride and groom are A-B and C-D then they could choose A-C, A-D, B-C, B-D, C-A, C-B, D-A or D-B)
 
 
#76662 Jess 2015-08-26 19:02
The main road connected to the street where I live is being reconstructed, and everyday I dread walking past it. I don't like the catcalling and honks I get from strangers in cars but I can put up with it. The same group of builders are there everyday and I hate the way they look at me and whisper to each other when I walk past them all. Some of these men are older than my dad and it makes me feel uncomfortable. They look at me like a piece of meat, no matter whether I'm dressed up or down- it's not flattering, which is what my sister says when I complained about it. It's objectification. I don't go out alone when it gets darker, because of the stories I've heard about girls in my year. I don't want to be scared on the way to school- I shouldn't have to be.
 
 
#76661 Z 2015-08-26 18:56
I was in the pub having lunch with my best mate the other day in Hatfield and there was a group of three guys propping up the bar and chatting with the two barmaids. They were clearly all friends with the two girls and were keeping them company during their shift. As my best mate and I were sitting and chatting, we heard one of the guys talking about one of his workmates who, by the sound of it had raped a girl and boasted to his friends at work about it. There was some discussion about this and a bit of laughter and the asshole who had told the story said that this anonymous workmate had said "it wasn't rape, it was a 'snuggle struggle'". One lone (male) voice in the group said "that's disgusting" to which the asshole replied "what? it's funny." One of the girls behind the bar said "what, rape?" and the response was "no it wasn't rape, it was a 'snuggle struggle'". Then everyone laughed with the exception of the one guy who kept quietly repeating "that's disgusting."

As we were leaving I was shaking with anger and didn't trust myself to confront them without losing it and screaming at them, so I settled for some very dirty looks. My best mate walked up to the group and said something like "by the way, we heard your conversation and that is not okay. The whole concept of a "snuggle struggle" is not okay." At which point the asshole back-tracked and said "it wasn't me, it was a guy at work" and was probably thinking we were two uptight bitches. I know I'd rather be an "uptight bitch" than a snivelling, ignorant, smooth bastard like that. Thinking I should probably speak to the police about it in case the girl came forward.
 
 
#76660 Emitter 2015-08-26 18:00
Attacked by man from behind, held knife to my throat and tried to abduct me
Followed home by man for months who was openly masturbating behind me
Spat at by man in a pub when I objected to being leant over
Physically threatened by male student - no action
Object mock-sexual actions from male student - no action
Sexually assaulted by exploitative man who then turned nasty
Always second class.
 
 
#76659 Anon 2015-08-26 17:39
Currently walking with a limp due to a leg injury. Car drives past and a man shouts out the window "looks like you've been boned" So embarrassed and there was nothing I could say as they just shouted aa they drove past. Cowards.
 
 
#76658 Taylor 2015-08-26 17:33
I am a cashier at a grocery store, where I receive at least one derogatory and sexist comment per day. I believe women who work in customer service are even more commonly subjected to sexist comments, because it is our job to be nice and friendly to every customer and I swear almost all men take this as me hitting on them. The most recent one that really stuck with me was when I was being cordial with a much older male customer and he began to wink at me so I kind of clammed up because I didn't want that wink to turn into anything more. After he left I realized he had forgotten one of his bags, so I ran out to the parking lot to give it to him, where he said to me, "You're such a beautiful girl and talking to you has just made my morning. If you're not doing anything tonight, you should come over to my place and I'll show you the time of your life."

You can't make this shit up.
 
 
#76657 Mreta 2015-08-26 16:28
A few days ago, heard a woman tell a friend how her concern for her dog's health had been dismissed by a male vet as over-worrying and paranoia, even though she had described a drastic change in the dog's normally very established behaviour. A trip to another vet confirmed that the dog indeed needed prompt treatment for an intestinal issue.
 
 
#76656 Bengi-Sue 2015-08-26 15:54
This morning on the Overground I was double-checking my route on a tube map, and a nearby London Transport OFFICER asked 'Where you goin', darling'?, in that tone of voice men use to 'impress' women. I quietly but firmly replied (without looking at him) I was just checking something, to which he repeated his 'professional' question. That somebody I would hope to trust in a sphere of much sexual harassment could inflict sexism, the degree of which does not matter, demonstrates how Underground gender equality remains.


--- This happened the same day Jeremy Corbyn suggested he'd at least discuss women-only transport. At time of writing, considering the trepidation I have about the night tube, I'm not as opposed as I perhaps normally would be.
 

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