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The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced by women on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

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#56839 Emma 2013-12-13 14:02
There was this boy at university who I'd never really got on with, he would always go too far with "banter" especially when around other people. I'd put up with remarks about my sex life, the clothes I was wearing and quite often my breasts. Of course if you try to get people to stop you are shot down for being a kill-joy or not being able to take a joke. Since I was good friends with some people he knew, he ended up as a house mate for second year.

One evening after we had all finished dinner, he decided to get up from the table and start stripping to which I swiftly covered my eyes not thinking it would go too far. The others present egged him on. He came around the other side of the table, after throwing all of his clothes at me in some sort of perverted strip tease, and proceeded to get on top of me and start to grind. At this point I was screaming for him to get off of me but he wouldn't, the others in the room were just laughing. His hand was in a place where at any moment he could have put it down my trousers. I was trapped - I couldn't move because he was such a dead weight. I don't know how long it lasted but when he finally got off I was frozen to the spot. I thought it was over, when he decided to get back on top and grope my boob. I couldn't believe this - my supposed friends just sitting watching and laughing as I screamed out. Afterwards one of them asked "did it felt like rape?". How was I supposed to answer? No I am lucky enough not to have encountered that, but in saying no they thought that it was fine.

This became a big joke amongst the house, one which I felt I had to laugh along with. However a week later it hit me. I couldn't live in that house any more. Not with the constant stream of "jokes", the touching and prodding of my bum and other parts after I'd explicitly said to stop and that event. I had to put up with the others telling me that he wanted to be friends and that I should stop snapping back at him and I was in the wrong for wanting him to stop. I moved that day and sent them a letter explaining everything to which I was told I was over reacting and that I shouldn't tell anyone in case I ruin his career. If anyone found out, a lot of the time the answer was "so what it isn't that bad, I'd have just laughed it off" or even "was he drunk?" as if being drunk would have excused his behaviour. It wasn't the first time he had grabbed my breast either it had happened four months previous and I warned him then not to do it again.

After moving, I was depressed and quite often wondered if I had done the right thing, I felt like it was my fault. What if I had ran out of the room when he started?

A couple of months later I met up with some people I hadn't seen since the event and over dinner they told me that he had recently said "I don't hate Emma for what she did, I don't care any more" - he still believes that what he did was fine and that I was in the wrong for leaving.
#56838 x 2013-12-13 13:55
In front of a group of a couple of hundred staff, a senior manager was describing the benefits of a move to a new office location. 'There are great shops nearby..' he said and neatly followed up with 'though you might not want to let your wives know that'. At least he had the good grace to look slightly embarassed when he realised what he'd said.
#56837 J 2013-12-13 13:53
I was told that academia would be wasted on me, because I'm much better at speaking to people and making things happen. Also apparently women tend to cut their losses quickly since academia is too much grief. Not sure if this was a twisted way of saying 'you'll never make it in academia'. Either way, the comment has stayed with me, and now, I can't really tell whether it has actually affected my decisions - i.e. has it changed the way I feel about myself?
#56836 E 2013-12-13 13:45
Found this comment under an article bout reading (in which gender was NOT mentioned)

"Women are predisposed to removing competition, because they lose whenever there's a straight fight"

Wtf? Is it impossible for these keyboard warriors to comment about any subject without having a little pop at women?
#56835 Ursula 2013-12-13 13:37
I was standing in line at the store and behind me stood a man. He slapped me on the ass I turn around and push him really hard away and said very loud to him keep his hands off my ass (I call him dick, asshole or something). He didn't say a word, most of the people at the store were staring at him. It was win situation.
#56834 Cate 2013-12-13 13:33
My workplace is largely dominated by women at junior levels and men at senior levels. Every time a situation occurs in which a group of women assembles with one man present whether it's a coffee break or a meeting someone will describe it as a "harem". For the record, I am not a concubine.
#56833 Amy 2013-12-13 13:25
When my daughter was about 6 weeks old, someone asked me how she slept, we replied she was a very content baby. That person then commented "it must be because she's a girl." From then on I noticed how every docile or"good"behaviour displayed drum my daughter even under a year old was put down to "being a girl." Similarly every active or boisterous behaviour displayed by my friends boys was often met with "oh boys will be boys." Even as newborns!
#56832 Lisa 2013-12-13 13:25
At the job, a couple of guys describe a certain type of project: "They're like women trying to park. They always take too long and they always go wrong."
#56831 S 2013-12-13 13:22
My old boss made a phone call to recommended me to a friend who'd just opened a bar, to help me get a new job when I moved city. The guy asked him one question about me: 'Does she give good blowjobs?'
#56830 T 2013-12-13 13:11
My boss told a female colleague in her review that he would never employ a woman who just got married or was planning on having children
#56829 Nemo 2013-12-13 12:42
When I was sick and in hospital the usual doctor was on holiday so that another one checked up on me for 2 weeks with his pupils. I was better adn he asked what I did and I answered that I studied medieval art. He asked me "Oh, so you will marry a rich guy?" - I was angry and snapped: "I don't know, unlike you I have no experience in sleeping my way up the career ladder!" He never crossed the line again with me but apparently with other female patients he did.
#56828 Sarah 2013-12-13 12:40
At work, in an office full of men, and one man can't quite believe it when I say I can drive. He tries to make sense of this by suggesting maybe all I can drive is an automatic. No.

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