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The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced by women on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

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#60025 H 2014-06-17 13:10
Spent the night with a boy I had a crush on. I woke up to him sexually assaulting me with his hands. I curled up, trying not to cry. I never tell anyone because I know they will never believe me. I know that I will be put on trial. Worst of all, I blame MYSELF for "letting it happen".
I didn't realize that spending the night gave him the right to touch me without my consent, while I was asleep. Because it doesn't.

When I refuse to have sex with a male friend, he accuses me of being a tease.

When I reach high school and participate in track, I am accused of taking steroids because I run faster than the boys. Boys on the team speculate about my sexuality. Some ask if I am a lesbian. I didn't know it was any of their business.

A boy sticks his hands down my pants at a party while I am trying to sleep. I don't know what to do so I just lay there hoping he would stop. He didn't. Eventually I got up and left. I blame myself.
#60024 Abby 2014-02-19 02:14
Today, in my biochem class something happened. It is a very hard class and hard to pass and is dominated almost solely by males and a male teacher teaches this particular science class. I was the only one who got 100% in the entire class. When I got my test, back, the guy who sits next to me look at my test and whispered something to his friend and they both laughed. By lunch they had spread around that the only way for me to have obtained that score was that I did sexual favors for this teacher. I felt embarrassed and ashamed.
#60023 Raquel 2014-02-19 01:58
It was a hot summer's night a little after 11 pm and I was walking from the subway on my way to a friend's house. As I walked, a police car slowly crept up along side me on the curb. There were two male officers in the car. The one sitting on the passenger's side said, " Hiya doll, you are looking real sexy tonight. Feel like having a good time with me?" I ignored his comment and walked faster,; but the car still trailed me. I kept ignoring the car, afraid that they would stop and come out of the car to follow me on foot. As I hurried along, I couldn't go very fast since I was wearing flip flops...a glass bottle came whizzing by, missing my head by an inch. Then I saw the police car speed ahead with the wheels screeching. I heard the officer shout: "Nasty bitch" at me as the car sped away. I felt terrified and relieved at the same time. I still wonder if I would have been raped by those officers if they had decided to do so. What could I have done to defend myself against two armed men?
#60022 H 2014-02-18 23:59
My boyfriend's best friend insists I go to the gym with him... Because he'd look "really cool going there with a girl"
#60021 Anon 2014-02-18 23:38
On the Skype with my boyfriend, his parents, his brother and sister-in-law, planning a family trip. We'll be driving abroad which means driving on the right-hand side of the road. When discussing how to get to our destination, his brother said "It's fine - me, David or Dad will drive" despite the fact there are 4 women in the party. My response was "Oh yes, absolutely, women can't drive on the other side of the road". Everyone laughed but somehow, I just don't think they got the point.
#60020 Nadia 2014-02-18 23:36
I liven sexism every day at home.
My spouse gives me 1/2 of the money for the bills, i have to work to pay the other have. I dont mind this but i have to clean and cook and take care of the kids by myself and when is my day off he comes home after his work, where he works also 3 days a week but makes 4 times my salary, asking me if i cooked what i cleaned and does not want me to watch tv ever. He says im the woman and its my job to take care of the house. But dont i work and pay 1/2 of the bills? Plus he makes more money then me, he's becoming more and more rich and i am getting more and more poor. He says all the time that woman are made to cook take care of the kids clean and open their legs. I am a very smart person and i am disgusted.
#60019 R 2014-02-18 23:21
Just reading the newspaper of an Irish man convicted of rape, judge made comment that after reading her psychological assessment that the victim seemed more interested in the compensation that anything else...I'm sickened by this that those in top positions of power can say something as irresponsible as this- by insinuating that she has come off better through the experience. I know it's a personal trauma with rape, with some effected in different ways than others, out of 5 of my close friends 3 of us were raped, my drink was spiked and I woke up to a man I didn't know having sex with me luckily my friend was in the apartment and I started to scream and cry and she brought me home, a similar story happened to a friend of mine, she was out, went back to a guys place, he spiked her drink and she woke up the next morning with no clothes on, utterly petrified she went home, my other friend was raped as a guy held a knife to her throat, fucking scumbag- I had to fly over to England to see her as she was afraid to go the clinic for an aids test by herself and didn't want anyone there knowing what happened, did any of us report what happened to us to the authorities- no, do we talk about it even with each other - no, this will be the only instance of these stories being told. I'd admire those who speak out about their traumas, I know it can't be easy, if my friends share this experience (although in differing ways)and we can't even talk about it must be 100 times harder sharing with the unknown. I'm guessing that there are groups of girls and women out there with similar stories that haven't been told, and when they are told- what happens if you're not slitting your wrists, or having a psychological breakdown, sorry judge am I not sad enough for you? I get on with my life, try not to think about what happened to me much, don't want it to define me in anyway, perhaps I'm a coward but it makes me recoil when a arbiter of law makes stupid short-sighted comments like that.
#60018 Sonjita 2014-02-18 23:20
Just had my annual driving assessment for a large first aid charity where i volunteer. Was told by the assessor 'you're a good driver...for a female'.
To be fair he backtracked and apologised when i expressed my offense at this comment but i was still saddened that this sort of comment trips off the tongue so easily.
Not angry... Just dissapointed.
#60017 lauren 2014-02-18 21:14
I was walking down a street once with my friend and these two middle aged men started wolf whistling at us
My mum sometimes says, 'marry a rich man' why should I have to marry a man to be rich? Am I unable to make my own way to be wealthy?
My friend once would constantly refer woman as sluts and whores, once he called my friend a slut who's never even had a boyfriend, he's more of a slut than she'll ever be but because he's a man he does not expect to be called that.
I once had a boyfriend who used to constantly hint about sex even though Im not interested in that and emotionally black mail me to get what he wanted, even though he knew nothing of what I wanted in life he presumed that we would get married and have kids, when I told him I did not want that he just talked over me. Its things like that, my cousin did the "you'll get married/have kids one day" thing but I doubt they would say that to a man.
#60016 Kate 2014-02-18 20:26
Today in my University Spanish class we were learning the names of different chores. First the professor puts up some of those 1950s ads where women are cleaning, after joking about how it was the place of the woman, he pointed out that it was sexist thinking, so I let it go. Then he jokingly starts asking us which chores are done by men and which by women, all the while kind of taunting me because of how I reacted to the first pictures.

After class I approached him and said that I knew he meant no harm, but that I found his comments hurtful. He said he was just trying to start a discussion (which I would have happily engaged in if I knew how to say "fuck the patriarchy" in Spanish)and was only joking blah blah blah, and just gave me one of the most insincere apologies I've ever received.

Despite apologizing, he clearly didn't understand what my problem was. I think most people probably think that his jokes were okay. So I pose this question: If he had being teaching us the name of different sports or kinds of music, would he have jokingly asked which ones were done by black people and which by white people? No, because he would have gotten fucking fired.
#60015 Bianca 2014-02-18 19:50
I was on holiday in Italy with my Dad and boyfriend. We were going out for dinner and I was in a dress that wasn't even that short (knee length). Before we left my Dad told me that people aren't used to seeing girls with their legs out and that I should cover up more. He then proceeded to say that I had long skinny limbs 'like your mother'. They're divorced.
#60014 Ali 2014-02-18 18:54
The assumption that managers are always of my team at work was told by HR "your manager hasn't issued that information; he will do so when it is available".
#60013 Hannah 2014-02-18 18:38
I tried explaining to my generally pro-feminism boyfriend why wolf whistles are never okay. His position was that he has and never would wolf whistled, but that it's okay if men do it. The only point (of many) I said that made him think twice was that a wolf whistle may remind a woman of a sexual trauma she's experienced in the past, and that that reference will be painful to her. Since the person whistling cannot know the trauma of the person they are sexualizing, the only way to make sure there is no reminder of trauma is to never wolf whistle. This made him think, but what he doesn't understand is that I don't know a SINGLE woman whose never been sexually traumatized in one way or another.

My boyfriend said he wishes there was a world where a man could tell a random person on the street that he is attracted to them without that person being afraid.
I wish there was was a world where a man didn't feel like he had the right to tell a woman what he thinks of her appearance, out of the blue.

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