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The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced by women on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

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#60703 Anon 2014-07-11 17:57
In one lesson at school today,I heard more than 10 rape jokes,mostly by the boys.I am 13 years old.If that's what they're like aged 13,I am truly worried at what they will be like in they are older.Rape culture sickens me.Also,in the 4 years I have had sex education at school,not one lesson talked about consent...
#60702 bec 2014-07-03 02:28
Sexism has been a part of everyday life for me since adolescence. Here are just a few of my experiences:

At a party I had drunk too much and went with my female friend to a quiet place to rest. A guy walked into the room, lifted my dress and penetrated me with his fingers. I was very drunk and tried to move away but he followed. My friend was able to push him away thankfully and stop it going further. I did not report this and at the time did not think it was rape, my idea of rape was a predatory stranger forcing sex rather than a friend of a friend not obtaining full consent. I was 15, and shockingly I still feel as though I would be blamed for putting myself in that situation even though that violation was completely uncalled for.

On another occasion I was plied with alcohol until I was almost passed out and then taken into a room. I was a virgin and this was extremely upsetting, I cried throughout. I was only 13 and the guy 18, I had no idea of the danger I was in because I was with friends. No one stopped it even though I was crying loudly. I was put on the back of his mates bicycle and ridden home with blood dripping down my legs when I was sober enough.

Another occasion when walking to school an old man (around 70) tried to call me into the bushes and told me he knew my brother. He told me to come back again at 6pm but I instead told my mum. He watched me walk to and from school sporadically for a few weeks but I never saw him again after that.

When I was about 20 I was walking along a popular walking path and a man was sitting in his car masturbating, within clear view of all the joggers/walkers. I was disgusted and took his number plate but never reported it regretfully.

Around the same age my drink was spiked and I lost all recollection of the evening despite only having 2 drinks. After going to the hospital the next day I was told nothing could be done, they didn't even have a brochure or a nurse that could speak to me about what I could do. At this age I was much more aware of my rights to my own body and wanted to report this behaviour. I attempted twice to report it to the police but both times I was put through to numerous departments and hung up on.

None of this behaviour prepared me for my husband, whom I married and had a child with at 23 & 24 respectfully. Once I was perceived as his possession he proceeded to emotionally abuse me by putting me down on a daily basis, sabotaged my friendships where he could, isolated me from my family in a small town, all the while physically abusing me. It was a very confusing and difficult thing for me to understand because I had married this man, had children with him, and had loved him.

I have become a much stronger woman after these experiences in life, particularly my marriage. Despite these instances, I don't feel that all men are predatory or sexist, but the men that aren't need to stand up and advocate for a woman's right to be respected and not treated as an object of mens desires or possession. This behaviour is much more endemic than we like to admit and my story is sadly not unusual. In this shortened snippet of my life I may have painted a picture of a rebellious troubled teen but I was a normal well adjusted girl experimenting with alcohol, just like my male friends - none of whom were ever exposed to the threat of rape because of having one too many drinks. If ever they were I would never have blamed them for putting themselves in that situation. This kind of abuse can happen to anyone and is never the victims fault - women also need to understand this.
#60701 Colleen 2014-05-30 05:11
I was passed out drunk at a party last year and a boy there took advantage of me and ended up raping me. At school, everyone was making jokes about me and calling me a slut because "it was my fault i was so drunk. We need to teach men not to rape and stop blaming the victim.
#60700 Lucie 2014-05-21 18:27
I remember at school when I was perhaps 14 a boy in my year was being inappropriate to my best friend in class, she was embarrassed and getting fed up with him stroking her arms and "flirting" with her unwantingly, I offered to switch seats with her thinking he wouldn't try it with me but he did. He kept touching my arms and neck, anywhere near my chest in the classroom in view of everyone. I told him to stop it and to shut up with what he was saying. I thought it would stop after the class was over but then several instances after he would say things about my breasts. during lunch break I was alone and walked passed him and his friends. He kept saying inappropriate things to impress his friends and as I walked passed him he groped my bum and as I turned to swot him off he grabbed my breast. Him and his friends all laughed. I was very upset, being so young and never experienced being touched in that way. I found my friend and asked her to come with me to see my mum who worked at the school at the time, even though I was upset she wouldn't come with me. After lunch I was due to have swimming class and the boy was also in the same P.E class as me. I was terrified of the thought of being around him in my swimsuit incase he tried anything else. I went to my mum crying and told her what had happened, she took me to my head of house and told him how the boy had been harassing me for weeks and I was scared of being in swimming class with me, I didn't want him to see me in my swimsuit. My head of year took him out of the class and gave him detention. But I was never asked again later if the harassment had stopped.
#60699 Em 2014-05-20 21:35
I was a early developer, and was wearing my first bra by the time I was nine years old. Once I started the secondary school, it's hard to not be noticed when you're pretty much the only girl in year 7 with boobs. This was when the torments really started. Rumours spread pretty quickly that I was a slag, and a whore and every other name under the Sun. I could deal with the comments at first, because I could just ignore them, as they simply weren't true. It was in year 7, that I had my first experience of proper victimisation in the form of grossly inappropriate touching, and a threat of rape if I told anyone what these two boys in my year 7 maths class were doing to me, which was horrifying and terrifying, and just plain nasty.

After year 7 ended things seemed to die down a little bit until I was about 15 years old, and I went on my first blind date with a guy that a "friend" had hooked me up with. Throughout my teenage years I was never really that interested in guys, I always considered my education to be more important, but my friend was insistent. I went along and things seemed fine, then things started to get heavy and I really wasn't ready for it. I tried to over power him, but he was 19 at the time (which I didn't know), and he was significantly stronger than myself, and if it wasn't for a black labrador that came jumping through a hedge chasing after a ball, that guy would of raped me. It was absolutely terrifying, nothing can prepare you for how scary it is. I later found out that the only reason why this guy agreed to go on a blind date with me was because my "friend" had told him that 1) I had big boobs, and 2) about my so-called slag reputation, so he deemed me to be a "easy lay".

Again after this things died down again, and it wasn't until I was 17 that I had any kind of experience of sexism again. At this age I got my first job working at a waitress. About a year into this job, I was started to get harassed at work, mostly by the customers, slapping my bum, wolf-whistling, and making crude remarks. I was able to tell my boss at work, and he was able to get them barred.

Nowadays I don't get comments made at me, and if I do I speak out. It's not needed nor wanted, and it's not okay!!
#60698 Claire 2014-05-07 07:56
When I was at secondary school it was quite normal for the boys to grope the girls. One day, whilst walking up the stairs to my next class, one of the boys put his hand up my skirt and groped my vagina. When I told a passing teacher he said "Oh well, boys will be boys".
#60697 Juli 2014-03-10 01:28
(This is loosely translated into English, as this happened in Sweden. To the point is also the fact that without one's social security number, which is on every single piece of identification, one cannot even get a library card...)

Random guy at health clinic, loudly calling woman at the register a "fucking cunt" for not breaking protocol and law, not to mention jeopardizing patient safety, when she politely explained that for his siblings to be examined, she needed their social security number, and suggested she would wait while he called someone who knew them.
#60696 Kay 2014-03-10 00:42
I remember walking into a project meeting when I was about 20 or so. The only other person to arrive early was a man who looked up from his laptop to say " Oh, are you here to give me a blowjob?".
#60695 Anna 2014-03-10 00:23
Went to a Catholic girls' school and we got a lot of crap from random people for our 'slutty' uniform (we hated it and thought we looked ridiculous).

For about a year we had major building work done on school grounds so there were always builders around and we'd have to pass by building sites to go from class to class each day. Despite the builders surely knowing that any girl in the uniform was likely going to be under 16, and sometimes as young as 12 (older girls didn't have to wear uniform) that didn't stop them wolf whistling girls on the way to class, and occasionally barking like dogs at girls going past. They never did this when there were loads of girls around, it was just when maybe 2 or 3 girls were walking somewhere alone.
#60694 Anna 2014-03-10 00:18
On a bus home from school with a friend when we were about 14 or 15 (year 10) we were sat at the back cos it was late so the bus was almost empty and we were enjoying having the space to spread out and relax. Then 2 boys got on and instantly came to sit with us and spent the next half an hour or so swearing at us, calling us sluts, and at one point because I had my bag resting a bit between my ankles my knees were about 2 inches apart, one of them got up and leaned over at me speaking really aggressively, "Will you shut your fucking legs it's making me sick you slut". They then started talking about my friend's breasts (she got a lot of attention for them as she had just developed and they were pretty massive) and what they'd want to do to her.

These boys cannot have been older than 10.

It sounds ridiculous to say that we were intimidated by 2 little boys but we were so taken aback by the aggression, the pure hatred they seemed to have for us (no idea who they were) which seemed to stem just from the fact that 2 girls were nearby when they wanted to cause trouble on a bus. I wonder what sort of men they've grown up to be (I wouldn't like to know) but it's sad that they had those attitudes at such a young age.
#60693 C 2014-03-09 21:27
I am 19 years old and have done a lot of babysitting over the years. it is annoying that children's books are still very stereotypical when it comes to the roles of women! In one book called something along the lines of 'When I'm Happiest' a baby bear describes that he's happiest when his daddy plays football with him and clears leaves in the garden, and happiest when his mummy kisses him and cuddles him. Why are men always prescribed roles of physical strength and women are prescribed the emotional roles. I swapped the names around and mummy played football and daddy kissed the baby!
#60692 Janice 2014-03-09 21:26
I'm from Mexico and during Christmas holidays, my aunt and cousin, who live in Chile, visited my family for a couple of weeks. On New Year's Eve, she was talking about how kind and diligent her new domestic worker was, constantly referring to her as "la Carolina".

"La" in Spanish means "the" when talking about a feminine noun. If we're talking about a masculine one, we use "el". For example: "el perro" means "the dog"; "la flor" means "the flower". In the city where I live it's uncommon to use "la" or "el" ("the", in both cases) when talking about a person.

Therefore, I found it pretty weird when my aunt called her "La Carolina" instead of "Carolina". I asked her about it and she said it was pretty common in Chile. I found it to be quite interesting and asked her: "So, I could say "la Jane" or "el Matt".
"No", she answered, "it comes off as disrespectful when talking about a man".

So, there you are. It's perfectly acceptable to talk about a woman with a definite article before her name, as if we were talking about a thing. However, it's not appropriate to apply this rule when talking about a man, because that's plain derogatory.
How fair.
#60691 A 2014-03-09 21:20
Spoke to my male friend about masturbation and how enraging it is that boys are conditioned to have such an inflated sense of their sexuality (as if women aren't equally sexual) and that female masturbation is not spoke or often not even included in sex education.
He responded, "we know girls do it, we just don't want to hear about it" Why not, why does our society teach men to be intimidated by female sexuality? And why is it then normal for us all to put up with men talking about wanking ALL THE TIME.

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