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The Everyday Sexism Project exists to catalogue instances of sexism experienced by women on a day to day basis. They might be serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest. Say as much or as little as you like, use your real name or a pseudonym – it’s up to you. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist, it is faced by women everyday and it is a valid problem to discuss.

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#63608 Anon 2014-07-11 17:57
In one lesson at school today,I heard more than 10 rape jokes,mostly by the boys.I am 13 years old.If that's what they're like aged 13,I am truly worried at what they will be like in they are older.Rape culture sickens me.Also,in the 4 years I have had sex education at school,not one lesson talked about consent...
 
 
#63607 bec 2014-07-03 02:28
Sexism has been a part of everyday life for me since adolescence. Here are just a few of my experiences:

At a party I had drunk too much and went with my female friend to a quiet place to rest. A guy walked into the room, lifted my dress and penetrated me with his fingers. I was very drunk and tried to move away but he followed. My friend was able to push him away thankfully and stop it going further. I did not report this and at the time did not think it was rape, my idea of rape was a predatory stranger forcing sex rather than a friend of a friend not obtaining full consent. I was 15, and shockingly I still feel as though I would be blamed for putting myself in that situation even though that violation was completely uncalled for.

On another occasion I was plied with alcohol until I was almost passed out and then taken into a room. I was a virgin and this was extremely upsetting, I cried throughout. I was only 13 and the guy 18, I had no idea of the danger I was in because I was with friends. No one stopped it even though I was crying loudly. I was put on the back of his mates bicycle and ridden home with blood dripping down my legs when I was sober enough.

Another occasion when walking to school an old man (around 70) tried to call me into the bushes and told me he knew my brother. He told me to come back again at 6pm but I instead told my mum. He watched me walk to and from school sporadically for a few weeks but I never saw him again after that.

When I was about 20 I was walking along a popular walking path and a man was sitting in his car masturbating, within clear view of all the joggers/walkers. I was disgusted and took his number plate but never reported it regretfully.

Around the same age my drink was spiked and I lost all recollection of the evening despite only having 2 drinks. After going to the hospital the next day I was told nothing could be done, they didn't even have a brochure or a nurse that could speak to me about what I could do. At this age I was much more aware of my rights to my own body and wanted to report this behaviour. I attempted twice to report it to the police but both times I was put through to numerous departments and hung up on.

None of this behaviour prepared me for my husband, whom I married and had a child with at 23 & 24 respectfully. Once I was perceived as his possession he proceeded to emotionally abuse me by putting me down on a daily basis, sabotaged my friendships where he could, isolated me from my family in a small town, all the while physically abusing me. It was a very confusing and difficult thing for me to understand because I had married this man, had children with him, and had loved him.

I have become a much stronger woman after these experiences in life, particularly my marriage. Despite these instances, I don't feel that all men are predatory or sexist, but the men that aren't need to stand up and advocate for a woman's right to be respected and not treated as an object of mens desires or possession. This behaviour is much more endemic than we like to admit and my story is sadly not unusual. In this shortened snippet of my life I may have painted a picture of a rebellious troubled teen but I was a normal well adjusted girl experimenting with alcohol, just like my male friends - none of whom were ever exposed to the threat of rape because of having one too many drinks. If ever they were I would never have blamed them for putting themselves in that situation. This kind of abuse can happen to anyone and is never the victims fault - women also need to understand this.
 
 
#63606 Colleen 2014-05-30 05:11
I was passed out drunk at a party last year and a boy there took advantage of me and ended up raping me. At school, everyone was making jokes about me and calling me a slut because "it was my fault i was so drunk. We need to teach men not to rape and stop blaming the victim.
 
 
#63605 Lucie 2014-05-21 18:27
I remember at school when I was perhaps 14 a boy in my year was being inappropriate to my best friend in class, she was embarrassed and getting fed up with him stroking her arms and "flirting" with her unwantingly, I offered to switch seats with her thinking he wouldn't try it with me but he did. He kept touching my arms and neck, anywhere near my chest in the classroom in view of everyone. I told him to stop it and to shut up with what he was saying. I thought it would stop after the class was over but then several instances after he would say things about my breasts. during lunch break I was alone and walked passed him and his friends. He kept saying inappropriate things to impress his friends and as I walked passed him he groped my bum and as I turned to swot him off he grabbed my breast. Him and his friends all laughed. I was very upset, being so young and never experienced being touched in that way. I found my friend and asked her to come with me to see my mum who worked at the school at the time, even though I was upset she wouldn't come with me. After lunch I was due to have swimming class and the boy was also in the same P.E class as me. I was terrified of the thought of being around him in my swimsuit incase he tried anything else. I went to my mum crying and told her what had happened, she took me to my head of house and told him how the boy had been harassing me for weeks and I was scared of being in swimming class with me, I didn't want him to see me in my swimsuit. My head of year took him out of the class and gave him detention. But I was never asked again later if the harassment had stopped.
 
 
#63604 Em 2014-05-20 21:35
I was a early developer, and was wearing my first bra by the time I was nine years old. Once I started the secondary school, it's hard to not be noticed when you're pretty much the only girl in year 7 with boobs. This was when the torments really started. Rumours spread pretty quickly that I was a slag, and a whore and every other name under the Sun. I could deal with the comments at first, because I could just ignore them, as they simply weren't true. It was in year 7, that I had my first experience of proper victimisation in the form of grossly inappropriate touching, and a threat of rape if I told anyone what these two boys in my year 7 maths class were doing to me, which was horrifying and terrifying, and just plain nasty.

After year 7 ended things seemed to die down a little bit until I was about 15 years old, and I went on my first blind date with a guy that a "friend" had hooked me up with. Throughout my teenage years I was never really that interested in guys, I always considered my education to be more important, but my friend was insistent. I went along and things seemed fine, then things started to get heavy and I really wasn't ready for it. I tried to over power him, but he was 19 at the time (which I didn't know), and he was significantly stronger than myself, and if it wasn't for a black labrador that came jumping through a hedge chasing after a ball, that guy would of raped me. It was absolutely terrifying, nothing can prepare you for how scary it is. I later found out that the only reason why this guy agreed to go on a blind date with me was because my "friend" had told him that 1) I had big boobs, and 2) about my so-called slag reputation, so he deemed me to be a "easy lay".

Again after this things died down again, and it wasn't until I was 17 that I had any kind of experience of sexism again. At this age I got my first job working at a waitress. About a year into this job, I was started to get harassed at work, mostly by the customers, slapping my bum, wolf-whistling, and making crude remarks. I was able to tell my boss at work, and he was able to get them barred.

Nowadays I don't get comments made at me, and if I do I speak out. It's not needed nor wanted, and it's not okay!!
 
 
#63603 Claire 2014-05-07 07:56
When I was at secondary school it was quite normal for the boys to grope the girls. One day, whilst walking up the stairs to my next class, one of the boys put his hand up my skirt and groped my vagina. When I told a passing teacher he said "Oh well, boys will be boys".
 
 
#63602 anonymous 2014-04-16 20:25
I cut off over a foot of hair about two months ago and am absolutely in love with my pixie cut. I once read something like "when a woman looks in her closet and says she has nothing to wear, what she's actually saying is, i have nothing that conveys who i am today." well, every day i wake up feeling so lucky that my short hair conveys exactly who i am!

point being, i just got a trim, and the (otherwise very nice and talented) man cutting my hair said to me, "why'd you cut your hair in the first place?! it's so beautiful! a girl with long hair...THAT is romantic." i think my boyfriend would beg to differ. and so would i, obviously.
 
 
#63601 Anon 2014-04-16 19:31
In Australia, I was in a car at some traffic lights when a man leaned out of his car to yell loudly at his passenger, "look at the titties on her", as a mother with a push chair wheeled her baby across the road.
 
 
#63600 Elise 2014-04-16 19:31
One night, I was out on the town with some friends of mine. As the night progressed, one of my friends got pretty drunk, so much so that she could barely stand up without teetering. Anyway, she's a pretty friendly person and was having a conversation with a group of people (males and females) when we decided to leave. As the rest of my friends were headed towards the door, I went to go let her know we were leaving. That's when one of the guys in the group grabbed her up in his arms, trying to kiss her and begging her not to leave. She was clearly not into it - leaning away from him, telling him no, trying to push him back - but she was also clearly too drunk to take him on by herself. When he got more and more pushy about kissing her, I stepped in between them, saying, "She's told you no and her boyfriend is waiting for her to come home. Drop it." Being as gentle as I could so as not to hurt her, I pried his hands off her and scooped her away with my free arm, then lead her to the door. While she whispered a "thank you" to me under her breath, I could hear this guy calling me a "bitch" and a "dyke" from across the room.
 
 
#63599 Elaine 2014-04-16 19:27
Me: "since having my son I have learned I am more feminist than I realised"
Husband: " you might think you are"
Me: ???
Husband: " well, you chose to have children"
Husband: "and you chose to look after them yourself"
Me: speachless!
 
 
#63598 Lucy Purdon 2014-04-16 19:13
I was out for a run very close to my home in Hackney, London. A van drove slowly alongside me all the way down the street leaning on its horn. I didn't look round, didn't react. I thought someone might jump out the van and put me in it, so I ran a little faster! I felt very threatened. I was so angry I cried from frustration when I got home.
 
 
#63597 Laura 2014-04-16 19:13
So today it was rather sunny where I live, being me I decided to pop on a jumpsuit in an attempt to catch some of the little sun I might see. Nothing revealing in the slightest, the shorts finished an inch above my knee, and the top half came well above my top area.
So yet all day I've seemed to have the same reaction from men driving past in their cars. Why do they think that it is acceptable to drive around beeping their car horns at us women?. Not only does it scare the living daylight out of me, but what do you seriously get from it?. It's not like I'm going to chase you and hand you my number or jump in your car?. Please stop, I no longer want to feel like a piece of meat hung out for you to honk at. It's just idiotic.
 
 
#63596 Rebecca 2014-04-16 18:51
I was standing at a bar waiting to be served. A man puts his hand right up my dress and grabs my bum. When I turn around to see who it was, I was faced by a group of men, all turning a blind eye to it. There was no way I could confront them all alone.
 

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